There are a lot of things I miss that I no longer have since I decided to have kids. But I think the thing I miss the most is my mind.
I shouldn't complain... I was warned. Well, sort of. I mean we've all heard of how women become forgetful when they're pregnant. I've heard that our brains actually shrink (This statement has not been approved by the FDA).
In any event, it so happens that what is lost is lost forever. Although I've tried to recapture that once youthful mind, it has refused to cooperate.
And so I'm left doing things like attempting to make coffee the other morning without water. (Even Juan Valdez himself would get a chuckle out of that one). And then there was the time I wasted wondering why I couldn't find my insurance card. Turns out when you put something in the back of your library book to keep it safe you should remove it before returning the book.
So when Christina Aguilera flubbed the Star Spangled Banner at the Super Bowl recently, I have to admit, I laughed a little. No wait, I laughed a lot.
I didn't bother ridiculing her like the rest of the world, although it appears that a teleprompter may have been the way to go. While most of us can still remember Christina from her Mousekeeter Days, we have to admit that she is all grown up. And, she is a Mom. And we can only blame her forgetfulness on one thing: Brain Shrinkage!
And she wasn't the only one. In a bizarre attempt to copyright her own name, Mrs. Sarah Palin forgot to sign her own name to the bottom of the paperwork. Despite the irony, and the hundred or so Palin jokes that come to mind, it still comes back to the same reason: She's a Mom/Brain Shrinkage.
I've heard much about the supplement Ginko Biloba. Some research finds that it helps with forgetfulness. My recent issues with cerebral insufficiency have led me stumbling through medical journals and Googling words like: Brain Shrinkage, Blockhead and Charlie Brown. Despite whatever side effects may come along with this magical potion; I've realized I'm at the point of no return. Tomorrow becomes insufficient vocabulary if I can't remember today.
My only fear now? "Where did I put that bottle of Ginko Biloba?"