Coffee Anyone?

As I sit here in the wee afternoon hours, eyes drooping, body beginning to collapse from complete exhaustion, I'm staring at my coffee maker with longing. I'm typing with one hand while holding the tiny dictator with another, so I'm praying that by using “the Force,” I can start another cup. The phrase “If you don't succeed, try, try again” comes to mind, but The Boy is staring at me, probably wondering why I'm making faces and squinting at the kitchen, so I should just get up and practice my one-handed coffee making skills and leave the Jedi tricks to Luke Skywalker.

Some people would disapprove. I've been told more than once that I need to wean myself off of my black liquid of love and acceptance, but I'm not a quitter. I know that I love coffee more than a normal person should, and in all honesty, I've been drinking it so long that it doesn't really have an effect on me anymore- so why am I trying to get all “Jedi Master” on my Senseo? Because if nothing else, my mind has started to associate coffee with mental clarity. Plus, it keeps my hands busy so that I don't end up trying to strangle my adorable children when they start imitating the wild apes on the Animal Planet.

I used to refer to my love of coffee as an addiction and coffee as my drug of choice; used to, that is, until the day that The Girl repeated that in public. Problem was, her version of it sounded like I was a drug addict. Oops. Mental note: kids listen to everything, they repeat everything, but they don't stop for explanations. It took some doing, but I'm pretty sure that I was able to convince the checkout girl that I didn't need to go to rehab. I probably didn't help the situation, though, when I jokingly went into a small rant about the health benefits of coffee and how, really, the USDA should include coffee as a main staple for nutritional completeness. Apparently, pointing out how a single cup of coffee can be everything from a serving of protein to a serving of fruit (depending on what area you're lacking in at the time), makes you look like a lunatic.

Whatever.

I'm going to go now and make a pot of probiotics.  With one hand.  Because I'm good like that.