A Fairy Tale?

Once upon a time there was a woman named Stephanie who was capable of efficiently moving in and out of stores because she didn't need to buckle and unbuckle children from car seats, stop to pick up shoes that toddlers accidentally had kicked off, or stifle arguments over the items for sale in the checkout lane.

She didn't carry a giant purse, opting instead to keep her car keys and some money in her pocket -- or demurely clutched in her hand.  Often she also carried a lipstick.  She was carefree, unencumbered, and did I mention that she was very, very quick while running errands?

She was very, very quick while running errands.

Now Stephanie carries a bag most places, except when she forgets to carry a bag and immediately regrets it when she finds herself in a public restroom with a child who is stretched out on a diaper changing station in dire need of a diaper change.

Recently, she emptied that bag and discovered three diapers, a package of wipes, a small container of hand sanitizer, a few suspicious Kleenex, an outdated church bulletin, a single dirty sock, a Happy Meal toy, several crayons, and two plastic spoons.  She then shook the bag, releasing a mixture of what she thinks was crumbled Goldfish crackers and sand.

There was no lipstick to be found.  There was, however, one quarter and thee pennies.

She still cannot determine the location of her car keys.