Monday, August 1, 2011

Total Bust

Have you ever spent the day getting everything ready to do something later only to find that 'later' turns out to be an almost total bust?

That was me on Saturday. We had a outdoor party to attend, so I marched off to the grocery store with The Girl and The Boy to get the ingredients for the dish I was bringing. Before leaving for work The Chef requested a few items that are not available at the grocery store which meant I now had two stops to make. Ok, no big deal.

Fast forward a bit and we are back home just in time to get The Boy down for his morning nap. The rest of the day was made up of making the food to bring, bathing the kids, running out to get gas, attempting to get myself ready, finding directions and some other assorted tasks.

All the while The Girl is being more 'spirited' than usual. I say spirited because it's a much nicer way of explaining that we were having a serious 'I'm not listening to you' kind of day. In retrospect, perhaps I should have seen the rest of the day coming. But I didn't.

The Chef comes home from work to announce that he is sick and going to bed. He looks sick, but I can't help but be disappointed because I was looking forward to going as a family. I know, cry me a river, but if I had a dollar for every function The Chef has missed I would probably have a new wardrobe. I think he's missed my family reunion three years out of four. (Which reminds me that it is taking place this coming weekend and he's already announced he probably won't make it).

Fast forward again and it's time to leave. The Girl is excited and manages to go potty and put her shoes on in a remarkably short time frame (score one for her!). I wake up The Boy, get the kids in the car and head out to pick up my mother-in-law. The Boy is not too happy to be in the car and proceeds to fuss almost all of the way there. Can't say I blame him.

We drive about 40 minutes to get to the party, which looks nice. I deposit my side dish after wandering around for a while attempting to figure out what to do with it. My mother-in-law gets me a margarita from the machine. It does not appear to have any alcohol in it yet, but it's hot and a margarita-flavored slushy is fine with me.

The Girl discovers the treehouse. So far so good, The Girl is staying in the treehouse and I am following The Boy around the yard. All the while it seems to be getting hotter - like the kind of hot where you are sweating profusely while not moving.

The Girl comes to me crying because some other girl was mean to her. This is where everything goes to pieces. The next hour is spent attempting to get The Girl to stop whining, yelling at me and generally just being difficult. In retrospect, she was probably just overheated and irritable. However, I am now feeling the same way and getting tired of the looks I'm getting from other people. I leave The Boy with my mother-in-law and take The Girl out to the car.

On the way out some random lady at the party pipes up "You should be able to make your own child listen, you know." Gee, that's super helpful.

The walk to the car was a mess since I'm attempting to hold The Girl's hand while she screams and wiggles away. After a while The Girl seems to calm down so we head back since the food was being put out and we're all hungry. I feed The Boy - The Girl having decided against eating as she generally does when we're out. No biggie.

The Girl then manages to walk right into a rope swing hanging from a tree. Boom, right between the eyes comes a 2x6 and a kid. She is screaming, I'm trying to calm her down while explaining to my mother-in-law that this is the 3rd time in 3 weeks that she has walked into a swing. Apparently, the lesson is not sinking in. I feel like we're providing the entertainment, since everyone is glued to the action.

At this point, I'm done. My sister-in-law suggests wrapping a hot dog to go for The Girl in the car. My brother-in-law graciously helps us out to the car. We get on the road for a mostly uneventful trip home.

So basically, I used the entire Saturday doing stuff to get ready to go to a party that ended up being a total disaster. Score one for the universe, none for me.

Side Note:  The Girl is fine, other than a nice scabby bruise on the side of her nose and a new resolve to not walk behind swings.

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