Monday, June 6, 2011

Perceptions on Moms

We all look at other moms and have our "judgement" of them. Not necessarily that we judge them, but that we have our opinion of them or our "label" for them.

There are the moms that just can't seem to get it together, the grumpy ones, the ones that yell too much, the one that always looks like they need a coffee, the ones you want to hug and say "it's gets better" to.

And then there are "those" moms. The ones that have it too together. The "princess" that can still afford designer clothes and expensive haircuts. The Moms that have the "perfect" children to go along with their "perfect" lives.

I'm sure if you asked another mom at the school that day, she would have noticed that The Girl had a stain on her shirt and that I forgot her school bag. A closer look would have revealed that under my jacket was the same tee-shirt I had slept in. She might have called me a "scatterbrain."

I realized that day at preschool that all of my "labels" that I have for other moms are just that.. It's just my view, my opinion and I'm probably WAY off, just like that nice mom was with me!!!

Perception ladies, It's all perception!!!! As long as you like what you see and who you are,(at least most of the time) nothing else matters.

There are the ALWAYS Fun Moms and Happy Moms and the moms that we wish we could be even just a little more like.

You know whats crazy about that? I think if I look at the "list" that I just wrote, I probably fit into each one of those categories in someones eyes. Some people see me at the worst of times. Others see me only at my best.

I guess really, it's all perception, isn't it??

I've often wondered (usually while labeling another mommy) how I appear to other women. What label do I have stuck to me?? Wouldn't it be so nice to be able to step back and watch as someone else for a day? To see how we appear to the world, and not to ourselves? (I'm getting deep, eh?)

One of the last times I dropped The Girl off at school I was feeling overwhelmed and frazzled. On my way out, one of the other moms stopped me and said:
"I don't know how you do it!"...
Me: "Ummm Pardon?"
Her: "I don't know how you manage to be so put together this early in the morning. You,  and the kids you're always so put together".
Me: (fighting hysterical laughter) Little chuckle and then "Thank you! but honestly, this (hands motioning up and down body) is all a facade!! Trust me, we're the farthest thing from put together! but thank you!"

I could have just said "thanks" and moved on, but that goes against everything I'm trying to achieve. I want moms to know that we all struggle, that we all have tough days. I don't want people to think that I'm perfect. (although its kind of nice to think albeit completely untrue)
I guess what I'm saying is that I don't want to be a mom that makes others beat up on themselves. I don't want to be "that" mom to someone. That mom that makes them wish they were something more than they are.

I would rather be honest and say:

"Look! Yes I have my hair and makeup done. My kids are wearing cute clothes and have really cute hair. All of this and it's only 9am.. But give it to me because it's all I've got!" "Right now the only thing I can think about is coffee. When I get home, I'll be faced with the cleanup from what might have been a tornado, I've got 5 loads of laundry and no food in my fridge. I'll also have a struggle to put this very tired one year old down for his nap so that I can have  minutes to myself. Having made some attempt with makeup and at least washed my hair just makes me feel a little better!"

So my friends, that's it. I just wanted to put it out there, to remind you, that everyone views us differently. It could be very different than we have ourselves viewed. Maybe it's better, maybe it's worse.


  1. Good post! I find myself doing this all the time. Why do we moms always compare ourselves and judge others? It brings unease, pain, and prejudice and yet we keep on doing it.

  2. Thanks! It always amazes me that the harshest critics of mothers are usually other mothers.